horoscopes are fun to read sometimes. this is an astrologer's forecast for aries this week. this shit just sounds out-of-this-world exciting, especially "...a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans."

-May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years.

-May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning and start dancing while you're still half-­asleep.

-May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses.

-May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple.

-May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds and one extrasolar planet.

-If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate."

-May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans.

-May you actually kiss the earth now and then.

-May you find many good excuses to say, as physicist Niels Bohr once did, "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."