bikram broke my groin

shortly after I'd wondered why I had the constant need to "open up my hips" (in terms of yoga), a couple of students and the teacher, out of nowhere, said that's where a lot of our emotional baggage is stored. I never asked, said a word or mentioned it, but it was like they read my mind! I also googled it and it's true, true because I felt a difference even before knowing why. there was even a day where I felt so light that nothing mattered, like I was floating. man, it was bliss.

speaking of yoga, My 30-day Bikram challenge isn't going so well. it's become more like "every-other-day Bikram challenge." I mean, Bikram is good. I like Bikram. I LOVE to sweat. I get used to the heat, and the smell isn't really bad unless you're taking a class right after another. I like seeing how far I could go but also being conscious of my "edge." and this is where my problem with Bikram is. I don't know if other people have experienced the same thing, and this is just my logic speaking which is already pretty questionable anyway, but when you're in a 105 degree room and your muscles are loose, is it possible to take yourself over your edge without realizing it because of how loose your muscles are? am I crazy? I woke up one morning after a great night with Bikram and I had pain in my groinal area. is groinal even a word? I don't care whatever. upper, right hind groin. there. I've never even gotten aches from running, dancing, hiking, or regular yoga! it's kind of been around for a little over a week and it hurts to do stretches. I'm thinking I pulled a muscle but I'm no doctor so it doesn't really matter, does it?

regular yoga, on the other hand, just keeps getting better and better. I surprise myself with what I'm capable of. still struggling to quiet the mind, but I love it, everytime.