create space

i think i deleted a post about getting back into yoga. i'm a month back into it and i started feeling the difference after a week. the body's muscle memory is incredible to me. yoga is harder to spring back from compared to running as far as my body and mind are concerned. you go through the first few days of soreness, but i don't think i get it as bad with running as i do with yoga. with running, i attain a healthy shape. it keeps the bad weight off, puts on muscle, and tests my endurance. it is the ultimate exercise for my body and mind type and none other works better for me on an overall level. yoga, on the other hand, doesn't keep the bad weight off as good as running does. however, it does tone my muscles, and is something i need to calm myself from the constant "pounding" of running. it helps that "gentle" part of you to be explored and exposed. it's all about balance, you know? and this kind of balance is what works for me. in yoga, when those muscles start to get loose and flexible again, it feels really great. like really, really great. my favorite yoga poses are hip-openers, inversions, and arm balances. i get really excited when the teacher mentions any of those poses during class, or even through a video at home. i am not as flexible as other yoga enthusiasts (due to injuries), but i'm strong, or can be, so anything that concerns challenges in strength is where i'm at. just remember to breathe. inhale to create space, exhale to go deeper.

what about you? what do you do to let go? what do you get excited about when it comes to physical challenges? what gets you motivated?

see + feel

Robert Irwin's art is so mesmerizing to me. this is a disc fixed to the wall illuminated with lights, two on the ceiling, two on the floor. the disc becomes a part of its own shadows, skewing your perception. ah, it's so calm and simple, but thoughtful, too. i think i'll sit here for a while and meditate.

this will be on view until tomorrow, january 5, at the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena. go! go! go!

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speaking of art, the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco will be having an exhibition on yoga. it is the only museum on the west coast exhibiting this and will be up from February 21 - May 25, 2014. let's urdhva dhanurasana our butts up there!

"Millions of people around the world practice yoga to find spiritual insight and improved health. While many are aware of yoga’s origins in India, few may know about its philosophical underpinnings or its fascinating history over thousands of years.Yoga: The Art of Transformation goes beyond postures and delves into how yoga has evolved into a global phenomenon through an exploration of its visual history. Borrowed from 25 museums and private collections in Europe, the U.S. and India, the artworks featured in the exhibition date from the 2nd to the 20th centuries. Images ranging from benevolent deities and gurus to Tantric goddesses and sinister yogis reveal how yoga practices—and perceptions of them—have transformed over time and across communities. Exhibition highlights include stunning masterpieces of Indian sculpture and painting; pages from the first illustrated book of yoga postures (asanas); and a Thomas Edison film, Hindoo Fakir (1902), widely regarded as the first movie ever produced about India."

practice, practice, practice

I was surprised the other day when I walked into yoga and my favorite teacher was there, sitting on a stool and said to me, "Mae, how long have you been doing yoga? I was going to tell you last night before you left that you have gotten so strong." She has told me this a few times during class and thought it was just shallow motivation, but it's never meant so much to me until she told me personally, that very moment. I then thanked her for so much that I've learned in the 50+ days I've been attending through her guidance and motivation. It felt great to have mutual gratitude for one another.

Still, to this day, I'm surprised of all the things I've been able to do and all of the things I've learned about myself. I remember seeing students do these awkward and crazy poses in class and think, "Holy shit, that looks scary and I don't think I'm capable of that." So you try and it doesn't happen. It doesn't feel right. You let yourself rest for a couple of days, try again and all of a sudden, there you are. When you let go of the "I can't," you'd be surprised. It was all in my mind. It makes me think back to all the times I said "I can't," and think "Could I have?" As I've said before, when you allow the mind to be open and strong, it will happen. Being physically able to accomplish the poses are a huge factor, but your body will not if your mind does not. When you find that balance and your body is saying, "Yes, this feels right," then you know you all of you is in sync. It's taken a lot of patience and plenty, plenty of practice. Plenty. Of. Practice. And it's all been worth it.

Note: I know I've been talking about yoga a lot lately. It's just really exciting to me to have these accidental discoveries about myself. None of it is a coincidence, though, as I'm sure it's also probably been trying to find me.

Be prepared for the next post because it will be about my favorite feminine products.

bikram broke my groin

shortly after I'd wondered why I had the constant need to "open up my hips" (in terms of yoga), a couple of students and the teacher, out of nowhere, said that's where a lot of our emotional baggage is stored. I never asked, said a word or mentioned it, but it was like they read my mind! I also googled it and it's true, true because I felt a difference even before knowing why. there was even a day where I felt so light that nothing mattered, like I was floating. man, it was bliss.

speaking of yoga, My 30-day Bikram challenge isn't going so well. it's become more like "every-other-day Bikram challenge." I mean, Bikram is good. I like Bikram. I LOVE to sweat. I get used to the heat, and the smell isn't really bad unless you're taking a class right after another. I like seeing how far I could go but also being conscious of my "edge." and this is where my problem with Bikram is. I don't know if other people have experienced the same thing, and this is just my logic speaking which is already pretty questionable anyway, but when you're in a 105 degree room and your muscles are loose, is it possible to take yourself over your edge without realizing it because of how loose your muscles are? am I crazy? I woke up one morning after a great night with Bikram and I had pain in my groinal area. is groinal even a word? I don't care whatever. upper, right hind groin. there. I've never even gotten aches from running, dancing, hiking, or regular yoga! it's kind of been around for a little over a week and it hurts to do stretches. I'm thinking I pulled a muscle but I'm no doctor so it doesn't really matter, does it?

regular yoga, on the other hand, just keeps getting better and better. I surprise myself with what I'm capable of. still struggling to quiet the mind, but I love it, everytime.

bakasana to mukta hasta sirsasana a WUT?!

today is day 30 of my 30-day yoga immersion/challenge... i still get sore. i'm pretty sore right now, actually. there is still the concentration on my breathing and clearing the head that i need to work on. that has been the hardest part for me. the mind is too strong. anything physical is much easier for me. mind always over matter, except when it's the mind working against itself, it's pretty difficult. do you ever find times when you feel like your mind is fighting with itself? that's me during "prayer" in yoga and pretty much anything to do with life, except when the heart steps in and wants to take lead then all hell breaks loose. set it on fire, drop it from the sky, stab it with a fork, forget about it! um, let's move on... physically, i'm pretty surprised at what i've been able to do. though not perfect, i can get into crow pose and transition into a headstand tripod. it happened by accident when the teacher/guide/whatever asked a student to show us how to properly do it. i attempted it and nailed it and have been practicing it everyday. it's easier to do headstands alone, but transitioning to or from it is challenging.

anyway, i'm enrolling myself in bikram yoga for another 30-day challenge. again, i'm up for it. that is, until i either pass out or vomit or do both during class. yay.

breath + edge + intention

currently: just passed day 10 of my 30-day yoga immersion.

holy shit, why didn't I do this sooner?!  I thought I was strong going into this, but I'm all kinds of sore everyday. it's been a challenge, both physically and mentally and I welcome all of it! I never went into it thinking I was going to feel "cleansed," but slowly I'm feeling the difference. my body feels less tense. I'm learning to be more patient, to take my time and mostly, to just breathe. every inhalation is like the universe telling me everything is ok. and every exhalation is like expelling physical/mental/emotional toxins my body, mind, and heart have stored. it's like i smoked some happy weed! whoa. I've also been getting some of the best sleep in what seems like forever! I just wanna yoga all day, everyday!

can someone tell me, though, why I constantly have the urge to open up my hips? that's all I want to do when I feel stressed, pressured or even just for the hell of it. what's up with that?!

savasana boot camp

I'm thinking about joining a boot camp class because running and dance classes aren't cutting it for me anymore. Or maybe immersing myself in yoga since the majority of exercises I do involve high impact aerobics. But with yoga, I always end up with a headache because I forget to breath, which is basically what yoga is about, no? And those poses. Holding those poses are sometimes more painful than getting that last mile in. I do have my favorites, like the child's pose and the cat + cow pose. These feel great in the morning after waking. And then there's my very favorite, the savasana.

Now who wants to grab a hot fudge sundae, two tacos on the side, heapings of guacamole and a burger filled burrito?!